When you are left frustrated and abandoned, what can you learn about thinking and communication? Michelle Parry-Slater shares her story 

The Christmas Holidays are upon us, meaning Boxing Day sales and Summer Holiday adverts will be popping up in abundance, enticing us to plan for summer 2025. There’s nothing like packing up the tinsel and finishing off the Baileys whilst dreaming of blue sea and soft sand.  

Now I live in Australia, summer is well and truly here. Schools have broken up and Australians are heading north in droves to the hotter climes of Queensland. Therefore, I’m keen to prepare you for when holidays go wrong, as our 2022 summer holiday turned into a nightmare.  

Due to Covid, we’d not taken a break for years and were hesitant to book anything in the pandemic. Yet having something to look forward to during Covid was motivating. Thus in 2021, we booked a cruise for the following year, having enjoyed a spectacular holiday with the same cruise line in Hawaii some years before. By August 2022 we’d looked forward to our holiday longer than the usual Boxing-Day-to-summer timeframe, which made it even more special. Like many people, we were weary from Covid’s 60-hour work weeks, illness and worry, so we were more than ready for the break.   

Process woes 

We flew Italy to join a Mediterranean cruise. Despite it being 2022 which had seen most Covid measures lifted, given the experiences of cruise ships during the pandemic, we understood their Covid safe precautions. No problem, as we had checked their rules and were armed with the relevant paperwork and vaccinations. Or so we thought.  

For five of our party of six the paperwork process was simple as we queued to board. For the sixth, my eldest daughter, an unbelievable set of events ensued. My daughter had caught Covid the preceding February, so by the rules she was exempt from a vaccination as she’d had Covid within the last 270 days.  

Cruise line staff refused to accept her UK government-issued Covid Pass paperwork because it only noted when she got Covid, not when she was Covid free. Clearly by our 3rd August departure date, my daughter was indeed Covid free, however we were pushed for that end date, as on 1st August the cruise line had reduced the 270 days to 180 days. My daughter called her GP, who instantly sent her a letter stating when she tested positive and that by the UK rules she was Covid free after ten days.  

Deadline woes 

Despite the miracle of getting a NHS GP letter via email within 30 minutes (her GP is at a University surgery who was not so busy out of term time), this letter was refused by the Ship’s doctor, who said the dates were ‘too close’ to the new 180 day deadline, even though they were within it. Instead, a request was made for an EU Covid ‘Green Pass’. Cue a lot of explanation about Brexit and how the UK were not in the EU any longer. All very tiresome and frustrating.  

Bon voyage  

The whole sorry tale resulted in us watching the ship sail away without us. We were abandoned without a care from the cruise line. Having flown us to Italy they literally left us homeless on the dockside due to poor communication, a lack of knowledge around world politics, fear of the pandemic, and misinformation. Whilst I appreciate I’m talking from a huge point of privilege for even having a holiday booked in the first place, it really was a huge low point in my life, which of course, taught me so much.  

In that moment of watching the holiday we had saved a long time for, as well as emotionally, cerebrally and physically needed, drift away from us I literally did not know what to do. When your brain is so exhausted from working and living through that pandemic, it was paralysing in that moment of extreme pressure to have to muster quality thinking.  

Legal woes 

The rest of the cruise story is long and boring, ultimately resulting in a long legal battle, which only ended this year. Our experience however did involve much kindness of strangers, including a wonderful Citavecchcia Travel Agent, who had sadly experienced our story before and was fed up educating port staff on the EU Green Pass and the Brits. 

The thing I learnt the most from the whole ordeal is the importance of clarity of communication. When we communicate with other people, in work or life, so much is assumption and interpretation. Layering in the complexity of language and cultural differences, the impact is multiplied.  

When emotions are also involved, such as the excitement of looking forward to something, focus wanes and misunderstanding can creep in, even more so, when our thoughts are paralysed with fear, trauma, overwork, worry, or whatever is tugging on your resilience. In moments like these, communication can be poor. It’s hard to listen or to find the right words, and it’s frustrating to be unable to articulate well due to poor quality thinking.  

Thinking woes 

Have you ever been so stopped in your tracks that you cannot think? Resilience is a word used often, and in that moment in 2022, digging deep into resilience was the only way to take care of ourselves. We all dug very deep. It was exhausting.  

Colleagues and managers who are aware of the load their teams are under (from a work context or elsewhere) will understand the need for clear communication. Brene Brown says, “being clear is kind, being unclear is unkind”. If someone asks you the same thing over and over, it isn’t that they are stupid or annoying, rather that they don’t yet understand. They may not be able to take information in if they are stressed. Be patient, listen with empathy, communicate with kindness. 

As we set our 2025 resolutions for the year, my Christmas wish for everyone is clarity of communication, listening for understanding, and kindness in connection. Oh, and a great summer holiday! 

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