Feedback without the freakout: smarter ways to share and receive input, and overcome feedback anxiety by Becky Westwood
Feedback has become an essential part of the training and development process in organisations. Not only is it seen as crucial to the business for maximising workforce skills and contribution, it is also often seen as a valuable contribution for personal and career growth by individuals. However, because work is deeply intertwined with people’s sense of identity, purpose and social connection it is important to get feedback processes right and minimise the stress that is often associated with feedback.
Feedback is about encouraging improvement, not about highlighting shortcomings
The fear of giving feedback
Even though organisations put a lot of effort into training for the process of formal feedback and the resulting personal development plans, for the person providing feedback, there is often a concern about how their message will be received. They may worry about causing offence, damaging relationships or triggering defensive reactions. This fear can lead to hesitation or a tendency to soften the message, which might dilute its effectiveness or clarity.
Additionally, the responsibility of delivering constructive criticism in a way that is helpful, respectful and actionable can feel daunting, especially if the feedback concerns sensitive topics or involves addressing a power imbalance, such as when speaking to a superior.
Taking it personally
For the person receiving feedback, the experience can be equally challenging. Feedback, even when well-intentioned and constructive, often feels personal. It can trigger feelings of vulnerability, inadequacy or defensiveness, particularly if the feedback challenges their self-perception or sense of competence.
There is also the potential for misinterpretation, where the receiver might perceive the feedback as harsher than intended or struggle to understand its practical implications. The stress can be compounded by workplace cultures that prioritise competition or perfectionism, where feedback might feel like a judgment rather than an opportunity for growth.
Context is key
Both sides are further influenced by the context in which feedback is exchanged. Factors such as unclear expectations, poor communication skills or a lack of trust can heighten the tension and make the process more uncomfortable. In some cases, a lack of established norms for giving and receiving feedback exacerbates misunderstandings, leaving both parties uncertain about how to approach the conversation effectively.
This combination of emotional stakes, potential for miscommunication and contextual challenges contributes to the stress commonly associated with feedback exchanges in the workplace.
The real goal of feedback
So how can organisations improve the feedback process for everyone involved? Here are some thoughts on points we can review as we consider how to improve overall implementation of feedback:
Q: Do both the person providing feedback and the person receiving feedback genuinely understand the goals of the process?
A: Feedback is often folded into annual reviews, and this can dilute its importance. Feedback can become a diary entry to be ticked off. Something to be endured rather than valued. Everyone involved in the process needs to understand that the goal of any feedback is to boost and develop professional goals – feedback is about encouraging improvement, not about highlighting shortcomings.
Q: Does everyone involved in the process recognise that feedback is tailored to an individual – feedback should never be “off the shelf”?
A: Often a one-size-fits-all approach is applied to the feedback process itself. During research for my book, everyone I spoke to had a preference for the way feedback is exchanged: some prefer to receive comments in writing first so they can reflect, while others want to talk about it and follow up with questions later. But no one had shared details of their preference. If you are the person receiving feedback, speak up. Feedback providers will be keen to ensure they are not misunderstanding or being misunderstood, and knowing how best you process feedback is useful. And if you are the person providing feedback, take the time to find out the best way to deliver the feedback for each member of your team.
Q: Is it recognised that exchanging feedback can be stressful because it involves navigating interpersonal dynamics, emotions and professional reputations?
A: Much of the stress can be our own doing – the process has been built up as something to dread. However, with a better understanding of the process and the process being refined to suit the individual, there is no reason for the experience to be difficult. Entering into the feedback process with a mindset that it will be a useful experience can transform the experience.
Time for a feedback overhaul?
Once feedback processes are in place they are often kept the same for extended periods. Is now a good time to review how feedback is both given and received in your organisation?
Becky Westwood, Organisational Psychologist at Monkey Puzzle Training and Consultancy, and author of ‘Can I Offer You Something? Expert Ways to Unpack the Horrors of Organisational Feedback’
