Learning from life: Trusting my gut

Trust your gut word abstract

Trusting your gut can be your greatest asset in the freelance world, guiding critical decisions. Michelle Parry-Slater explores the importance of intuition in decision-making

Freelance life offers many benefits, not least the ability to set your own agenda and work with people and on projects you enjoy and learn from. The freedom to pick and choose which events you attend without seeking permission from a boss. The sense of achievement when you bid for, and win, new client work. And who doesn’t love a cheeky trip to the hair salon during a quiet Thursday? 

I find that my gut feelings lead me in the right direction, even when logic suggests otherwise  

There are of course bumps in the road with the constant search for clients and gigs, the balance of working on your business and in your business, the yo-yo of cash flow and all the other founder challenges are valid realities.  

To those I mentor who are starting out in freelance life, I have some non-negotiables which I strongly recommend.  

Firstly, pay your suppliers on time, or better still, on receipt of invoice. Cashflow is the killer of businesses. I want my suppliers to stay in business, so I help them do so by always paying on receipt (Totally agree! -Ed). It’s true to say treat people as you would like to be treated. Because cashflow is so important, I always say to my mentees have at least three months’ money in the bank, or even double that to have a good runup at success without cashflow worries.  

Confidence and conviction 

Second, trust your gut, as it is rarely wrong. For an evidence-based practitioner, such as I am, this does not sound like great advice. Where is the evidence? It is the body that ‘keeps the score’, as the average person makes thousands of decisions a day, and that cerebral toll is a lot. A busy person (that is, most business founders) makes many more daily decisions. When you make so many decisions, often quickly, your gut is often your only guide. 

Trusting my instincts has taught me valuable lessons about decision-making and self-awareness. Often, I find that my gut feelings lead me in the right direction, even when logic suggests otherwise. If I have an initial feeling that something feels wrong, even when everything seems fine on the surface, invariably it will end up being wrong.  

Rather, by listening to my inner voice, I’ve learnt to navigate complex situations more effectively. Sometimes it’s the unspoken truths that matter most. Unearthing them early is important. Embracing my gut, or ‘recognition-primed evidence’ as it is known in academic circles, has made me more confident in my choices and has deepened my understanding of my own values. Ignoring my instinct, on the other hand, has led to major issues. 

Learning from experience  

Despite all this advice to others, there was the one time that I got it spectacularly wrong. I ended up working with totally the wrong client for me. The relationship felt unusual from the beginning – however, I was attracted to the project, the autonomy, and the people involved in the work. It felt like important work and I was both feet into the project from the off. I ignored all the flags, and didn’t stop to listen later to the alarm bells coming to me from my instincts. I got on really well with everyone, the work was exciting and important to me, and I enjoyed making a difference. But there was still a niggle which meant I didn’t quite trust everyone.  

Not getting paid is never an acceptable way to do business 

Eventually, the niggle surfaced. Part way into the project, I didn’t get paid. Nor the next month. And the next… until I eventually walked off the job. I paid all my associates on time despite this and I’m proud not to have compromised my principles, even though it nearly finished off my business. Not getting paid is never an acceptable way to do business. I should add that, after a lot of negotiation, I did eventually get a payment plan in place for this work.  

With hindsight, I see the signs were there from the outset. There was complexity where there didn’t need to be. There was little governance and no transparency around it. There were a lot of words (rarely written down) and not a lot of follow-up actions. It was difficult to trace the cashflow. 

With my eyes opened to the truth, I’m embarrassed for having been naive, too trusting and allowing myself to be blinded. At the time, I spoke with my mentors and trusted colleagues who have helped me to understand this can happen to even the most experienced people. I was encouraged not to change my worldview as a result of this one experience. All this time later I haven’t fundamentally changed myself. My innate ability to believe all humans are good has got me this far in life, so I won’t let one experience change that. 

Being your true self  

What has changed after this experience is I listen more intently than ever to what my feelings, senses and intuition are saying. My values of challenge, excellence and transparency have always guided me. On that occasion, I knew some things didn’t sit right with me and my values. I called it out yet didn’t question the responses sufficiently. Never again. Trusting my gut guides me toward greater authenticity and clarity. Sometimes, though, you need others to help you see clearly.  

Having a community of support around you when things go wrong in business is vital for coming out the other side. I hugely valued my network during that tricky time. Starting up a business is hard alone. If that’s you, get in touch with any of the great L&D communities such as #LnDcowork, which I founded with Fiona McBride, or The Learning Network brought to you by many wonderful industry peer volunteers, or Robert Wagner and Cathy Hoy’s CLO100 community, or the newest community specifically for freelancers, L&D Free Spirits, which Kim Ellis has recently launched.  

Freelance life isn’t always easy, but it sure is full of a lot of learning and resilience-building. We live and we learn; especially when things go wrong. 


Michelle Parry-Slater

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