Confidence and stress are not separate tracks at work. This article shows how situational awareness turns confidence into visible behaviours that lower pressure. Five practical moves clarify expectations, ask better questions, build feedback loops, set boundaries and use body language. Anne Maartje Oud links personal habits with culture for performance.
“Boost your confidence” and “reduce stress” sound great, but they are often treated as separate goals. That is where the interpretation becomes misleading. Confidence that helps prevent stress is not something you simply only “build” in a vacuum or just something you feel internally. It becomes visible through your behaviour and the actions you take at your workplace (and beyond) and how people respond to those actions.
What you pick up directly influences how you feel
Confidence starts with situational awareness: reading the room, noticing your own behaviour, as well as that of others, and adjusting your behaviour accordingly. What you pick up directly influences how you feel. If you sense tension or pressure, both in yourself and others, stress can build quickly. This is where your next step matters.
With that in mind, here are five practical ways to boost your confidence in a way that directly reduces stress.
- Clarify expectations
Many people start working without a shared understanding of the goal, which leads to inefficiency, frustration and repeated corrections later on. If you do not know what is expected, you often compensate by guessing, adjusting and reworking along the way. That creates unnecessary stress, not because the task is complex, but because the direction and focus remain unclear.
Do not assume alignment. At the start of a task, project or meeting, check what is expected: “I understand the goal is X and that Y is needed by Friday, is that correct?” By doing this you reduce ambiguity and create a clear starting point. - Ask questions
When something is unclear, do not stay vague. Be specific about where the gap is. For example: “I’m clear on the overall approach, but I need a bit more detail on this specific part Z. Can you walk me through that?”
You show confidence by clearly stating what you already know, while at the same time naming what is still unclear without hesitation. You then make explicit what you need or what you will do next, so the direction becomes visible and the next step is clear to others. By making your thinking visible and taking ownership of the situation, you come across as confident. - Proactively ask and give feedback
Do not wait for formal moments for feedback, but create short feedback loops yourself. This way you are pro-active in your interaction instead of guessing how you are perceived or waiting for formal moments to express what you need from colleagues. This reduces stress because you replace uncertainty with clear information and prevent small issues from building up.
Example: “What is one thing I could do differently in my approach to this project?” or “What I need from you to move forward is clearer updates on X. Can we agree on that?” Give or ask for the feedback as close to the situation as possible so stress doesn’t build up. Keep it specific, concrete and respectful. - Set boundaries
It is important to indicate when the workload is no longer realistic, as this creates space and stops the pattern of overextending yourself. By doing so, you prevent stress from building up and avoid carrying the pressure on your own.
For example: “With the current workload, I can deliver A or B this week, not both. Which has priority?” You can also make behaviour discussable by naming what you observe and what it causes. For example, in a team meeting: “I’ve noticed that I sometimes hesitate to raise concerns because the pace is so fast and it can feel like not everyone is fully listening, which makes it harder to address issues early. How can we make space for that please?” - Use body language
Adjusting your body language influences how your body responds to stress in the moment and how others react to you. For example, keep your shoulders relaxed instead of tensing up, you place your feet firmly instead of shifting constantly and you let your gaze rest on someone for a moment before looking away.
Speak a bit slower and allow short silences instead of rushing. Also, slow breathing will help you to reduce stress. A cathartic exhale helps your body release tension and return to a more relaxed state.
Developing picture
Confidence is not something you first need to “have.” It develops through repeated experiences of speaking up and seeing reduced stress as a result. Confidence then grows as a result of this repeated behaviour.
At the same time, your work environment matters. How confident you feel and how much stress you experience are shaped by the culture you are part of – whether people address issues openly, make expectations clear and take responsibility for how they interact with others. If the work culture does not support these behaviours and stress keeps building, confidence also means recognising that, and choosing how to work differently.
Anne‑Maartje Oud is owner of The Behaviour Company and author of WHAT TO DO IF…?: How to Handle Any Situation at Work and Come Out Winning
