Perfecting me

Liggy Webb continues her series on being resilient in the VUCA by encouraging us to be the best we can be

Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you

Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have often wondered how helpful the term role model is when we apply it to other people. Surely the best role we can ever aspire to is an improved version of ourselves. We are all people in progress and there will always be things that we can fine tune and work on.

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Being genuine and appreciating yourself for all your strengths and inevitable weaknesses is the first step to self-confidence and personal belief is fundamental to our own sense of well being. 

I hear people saying how they beat themselves up when they make mistakes. Why? Isn’t that how we learn?

I think it is also important to establish that we were not born to be perfect we were born to be real. Life is tough enough without giving ourselves an even harder time.

Who is your best friend?

The most important relationship that you will ever have is the relationship you have with yourself. Would you choose to be your best friend? If you don’t like yourself or believe in yourself then how do you expect anyone else to?

Take a good look at yourself in the metaphorical mirror and start by being really honest. What is your true opinion of yourself? Are you appreciative of all your strengths and qualities? Or do you dwell on all your misgivings, mistakes and weaknesses?

If it is the latter, I am sure that you would not consciously treat anyone else, let alone your best friend, that way. So why do we do it to ourselves? Why are we sometimes our own worst enemy?

Lack of self-appreciation is one of the reasons people become depressed. Appreciating yourself is the most important component of self-love. However that sounds, it is hugely important, because if we don’t love ourselves, why would we even begin to expect anyone else to? People who appreciate themselves usually have a good heart and are full of optimism. They love and appreciate the gifts that they have bestowed upon them. They feel comfortable in themselves and are known for their generosity and tolerance.

We have to take responsibility for being the best that we can be. So often we will compare ourselves to others, and if we do this, we run the danger of engendering two emotions, one of vanity or one of bitterness, because there will always be people we see as better or worse off than ourselves. It is also pointless to benchmark ourselves against others. Using yourself as your own benchmark is far more constructive.

So the first step to achieving your personal best is to be your own best friend. Take time to have a little chat with yourself and really listen and observe the way you treat yourself. Be kinder, be more considerate, and be more positive.  


Working on your own self-confidence is a very good investment of time. There is a fine line between arrogance and confidence, and it is important to be honest with yourself and seek feedback from others to gain a balanced perspective. It is also important, however, that you don’t rely on others to big you up and make you feel better. It is important that you learn how to recognise and appreciate yourself when you have done something well. If you rely on others or become so preoccupied with other peoples’ opinions of you, it can create insecurity and paranoia.

Imagine having no one to compare yourself with except yourself. What a sense of relief this would bring. We wouldn’t have to worry about not looking like the alpha male or female with the smartest mind, the most important job role and the biggest pay packet. We wouldn’t have to worry about our bodies not being the youngest, most beautiful and most sexy.

All you would have to think is: did I do this activity better than I did it last week? Have I moved forward in my own definition of success? Am I feeling peaceful; doing my best for my health? Do I have an attractive mind and healthy interactions with other people?

The real key to self-confidence is about believing in yourself and trusting your own views and opinions. At times, this can be difficult, especially if you have a tendency to listen to others and benchmark yourself against what they think of you. This is, however, very dangerous and the ability to establish your own inner benchmark to success is essential.

Every human being has the ability to take control and make positive changes. Other people can try and stop you, but only if you let them. When you look in the mirror, be proud of the person that you see, knowing that you do the best you can.

Tell yourself that you are confident and believe in yourself. Focus on your strengths and the positive aspects of your character and set about developing the areas that you have for potential.

Be the best you can be – ten top tips

  •  Be your own best friend
  • Have a little chat with yourself and listen to your inner dialogue 
  • Decide that you want to be the best that you can be
  • Challenge your boundaries and step out f your comfort zone from time to time
  • Be open and positive about change
  • Be receptive to feedback and learn to trust more
  • Learn from your mistakes and grow
  • Challenge your limiting beliefs and excuses
  • Avoid comparing yourself to others
  • Develop your self confidence and believe in yourself  


When you feel good about yourself, others will feel good about you, too.

Jake Steinfeld

Training Journal

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