Continuous feedback should drive growth and development—not anxiety. But when handled poorly, it can trigger rumination and stall progress. Srideep Sarkar and Anu Sarkar explore how to shift from emotional overload and anxiety to intentional growth with strategies that reset thinking patterns and foster a healthier relationship with feedback
Is feedback helping you grow, or is it keeping you stuck in rumination? Continuous feedback is the new reality and feedback for everyone, irrespective of seniority, is the new norm. Deloitte research reinforces the business case and indicates that organisations with a strong feedback culture have 21% higher profitability.
When feedback is handled well it fosters awareness, adaptability, and resilience
Thriving in this feedback rich environment, requires a reset of mindset -from annual evaluation to ongoing calibration, from self-protection to self-improvement, and from periodic emotional intensity to regular emotional ambivalence.
When feedback becomes mental overload
When feedback is handled well it fosters awareness, adaptability, and resilience. However, when taken personally, uncomfortable feedback sticks longer and triggers cognitive dissonance—the discomfort of receiving information that challenges one’s identity and competence. This can create self-blame or system blame tendencies. Both responses can fuel rumination, an iterative negative thought pattern which amplifies uncomfortable emotions and stalls action.
Feedback discussions can be emotionally intense. The first positive step after any intense engagement is a phase called “intentional recovery”. Recovery helps to set the foundation for a rebuild. Rumination slows down this process by re-creating the performance in the mind and making it difficult to detach from the emotions of the experience. It also amplifies fear of failure and impairs attention.
Recognising rumination: Four tests
Recognizing these patterns is the first step in breaking the feedback-rumination loop and reclaiming clarity and growth.
✔ The Replay Test – Are the same thoughts being revisited without action?
✔ The “What-If” Spiral – Is there an obsession over hypothetical scenarios?
✔ The Time Trap – Are the thoughts stuck in past mistakes or anxiously projecting into the future?
✔ The Energy Drain Check – Is there a sense of emotional exhaustion as a residue after thinking?
To drive lasting, positive change, pattern recognition must be followed by the intentional creation of new patterns of behaviours that break the loop.
Strategies for disrupting the feedback-rumination loop
1) The 5-5-5 rule
Uncomfortable feedback can feel all-consuming in the moment, but not all criticism carries long-term consequences. Assess feedback’s significance over time. Asking “Will this matter in five days, five months, or five years?” can help to de-escalate emotional weight and refocus energy where it matters.
2) The worry window
Unchecked rumination can deplete confidence. An effective strategy is to schedule a “worry window”—a short, structured period dedicated to processing concerns. During this window, writing down concerns and evaluating whether they require action can bring clarity and closure. This practice, rooted in cognitive diffusion, prevents feedback from becoming burden.
3) Action over anxiety
Overthinking often leads to anticipating worst-case scenarios. The key is to shift from passive rumination to active problem-solving. Instead of questioning, “Did I sound incompetent?” a constructive reframe would be: “What’s the next opportunity to contribute effectively?” Engaging in small, purposeful steps redirects attention toward forward momentum.
4) Change “what if” to “even if”
Catastrophic thinking makes feedback feel overwhelming by exaggerating its impact. Instead of asking “What if I fail?”, flipping the narrative to “Even if I fail, I will recover by…” fosters hope. This approach shifts focus from fear to solution-oriented thinking, making setbacks feel temporary rather than defining.
5) Permission to reset
The mind and body are deeply connected, and thought patterns are often reinforced by physical states. When stuck in a downward mental loop, shifting posture or environment can help reset the brain. A five-minute walk, stretching session, or change of surroundings enhances cognitive flexibility and can disrupt repetitive thought patterns.
6) Emotional distancing
Self-judgment makes feedback feel more personal than it is. When struggling with self-criticism, stepping outside oneself and imagining advising a colleague in the same situation can provide clarity. If a colleague made a mistake, most people would offer them compassion, encouragement, and constructive next steps—yet they rarely extend the same grace to themselves. Applying this lens offers emotional distancing creating self-compassion.
6) Wins list
The brain has a natural negativity bias. This can distort self-perception, making individuals feel as though one isolated event of criticism outweighs sustained good performance. To counteract this, maintaining a “Wins List”, a record of micro successes, balances perspective. Recognising progress builds self-worth beyond external validation.
Learning a better loop
When individuals shift from rumination to action, from self-judgment to perspective, and from overthinking to problem-solving, they reclaim agency over their growth.
- For employees, this shift fosters confidence, adaptability, and career resilience
- For teams, it builds a culture where feedback strengthens, rather than fractures, relationships
- For organisations, it ensures a workforce that thrives on learning rather than fears evaluation
At the heart of a successful continuous feedback culture isn’t just the ability to give better feedback—it’s the ability to receive it with clarity, confidence, and curiosity.
The way feedback is processed is a choice—it can either be an anchor that holds someone back or a tool that propels them forward.
Srideep Sarkar is a Leadership Coach
Anu Sarkar is Director of Global Head of Leadership Strategy and Development at Deutsche Bank
