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isten. Do you hear a voice in your head? Te voice of an inner roommate who is


always trying to tell you what to do, how much better everyone else is, how to solve problems; a running commen- tary on everything and everybody and inviting you to star in its melodramas? So who is aware of this voice


talking? Tere are two parts to our being: the ‘self ’ that is awareness, the witness, the part who is aware of the voice; the other part is the ‘roommate’, the voice who never shuts up. Wake up to the possibility that you


have this roommate’s voice directing you, a Machiavellian emotional terrorist. It is the one who tells us we have to, we must, the world will fall apart if we don’t. Te voice of this inner roommate, is, however, not you. Te self is the one who hears the


inner voice, sees and is aware of the events, thoughts and emotions that pass before it. It is the identification and management of these two that Michael Singer talks about in his book, Te Untethered Soul.1 Hugh Murray defines coaching


as an approach that encourages people to reach their full potential through grounded, evidenced-based self-belief and increased self-aware- ness.2


Julie Starr identifies five


components in coaching: building rapport, listening, intuition, using questions and giving feedback.3 Tis article is about combining


Murray’s and Starr’s approach to self-coach, to identify and manage the inner roommate’s voice and quietening it to allow the self to reach its full potential. It will also draw on the work of Singer and Michael Neill’s, Te Inside Out Revolution.4


Energy levels


Events in life can cause disturbances to how we feel, our energy levels change. When this happens the inner room- mate, drags us in, insisting “this should not be happening to me”, or “my life is always like this” or even, “it is happening to me because …” and then mulls over it, ruminating and picking it to death. Te event then gets stuck and the energy becomes blocked within. Singer encourages us to let these


events go. Te moment you feel a change in energy just relax and let


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it go. Te self is always greater than the suggestions the inner roommate is trying to pull us towards. Tere is nothing wrong with feeling these negative energies, we can’t stop them, just don’t get dragged into them. If you can be free while having these feelings, you will really be free. As long as you are watching and


are aware of what is going on, you are not getting involved. Te danger begins when you are drawn into the disturbed energy and begin to take a leading role in the inner dramas. Te prerequisite to this freedom is the decision that you don’t want to suffer any more. You then begin using Starr’s five components. By ‘building rapport’ with self, you give self recognition and acknowledgement of past achievements. Constant anxious inner talk is a form of suffering. Stop and ‘listen’ to the voice of the inner roommate and the anxious inner talk it is generating and telling you. It is usually insisting outside changes have to be made. Te problems are, however, inside. Use ‘intuition’ to discern what it is


saying. Intuition is a very rapid leaping over logical analysis like jumping across stepping stones on a fast running stream that allows access to the subconscious’s knowledge-spotting patterns. Recognise your true self, who you are, what you have and can achieve. From this position of strength, realise that when you relax you can find that intuitive self. Use intuition to discern that the inner roommate is a fool. Set up trigger points to ‘question’,


review and examine what is going on and the validity of the anxious inner talk. Doing so stops you from becom- ing involved in the melodramas the inner roommate is creating and gives you – the self – the chance to let go of what is going on. During these trigger points, be quiet enough so you notice the mind and let go before the heart gets involved. Te trigger points can be quick mental pit stops during the day, quick checks in the emotional and mental mirror. Te more you do this, the more you realise you are independ- ent of what the inner voice is saying. Tese trigger points deserve


sincere, specific, selective ‘feedback’ to self, acknowledging the times you were aware of the roommate’s


voice and the actions you took not to get involved in its suggestions.


Notice, but let it pass


Personal growth and development is the willingness to let whatever comes up – reaction to both external events and thoughts – to pass through without necessarily responding to them. Notice them but let it pass through you. Te emotions and reactions experienced during these events relate to what may have happened to you in the past or the


There is nothing wrong with feeling these negative





energies. We can’t stop them, just don’t get dragged into them


unconditional acceptance of the inner roommate’s suggestions. What you need to do is let the current situation/ event pass without paying attention to the inner roommate’s voice. Singer emphasises events are not problems they are just events. Deal with them as events. Awareness is the ability to detach ourselves from what the inner voice is saying and suggesting. By doing this, we will achieve


greater self-awareness. By developing self-awareness, we begin to rid the self of ingrained dysfunctional habits and develop self-awareness that fuels creativity and innovation Te quest for self-awareness helps to end the self-defeating melodramas. It removes the parochialism and the blind spots. Tis gives the opportunity to look at things differently and be creative. It transforms how and what we think and therefore gives the opportunity to transform behaviour and achieve the potential Murray and Starr refer to. We begin to identify our limiting self-thoughts. Michael Neill believes what we


experience in our everyday lives is our thinking rather than reality. He believes experience and feelings follow thought; experiences and feelings are shadows of thoughts, regardless of what is going on around us. A thought can get revved up and appear


 | August 2016 | 27


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