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Netcheck

By Clare Forrest (December 2004 Issue)
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Hey ho, or should that be ho ho ho? It’s October and here I am writing the Christmas column. It’s hard to get into the spirit of things when, in real time, Bonfire night hasn’t even happened, so forgive a slightly curmudgeonly edge this month. I try to give a different flavour to the column at this time of year, and so my theme is Christmas in the office. Since you’ll probably get this copy of the journal at the beginning of December, I hope you’ll find plenty of ideas here to entertain you.

THE OFFICE CHRISTMAS LUNCH
Here are a few sites for all things that are ‘fun and turkey’ – and there’s a phrase I’ll probably never type again.

www.britishturkey.co.uk/turkeyTrivia/index.html
Start off here to see how much you know about the bird that may well grace your table, if you’re a meat eater, with this turkey trivia web page. If you’ve nothing better to do with your time right now – maybe it’s that Christmas lull – then this is the perfect site for you to construct a quiz to keep your colleagues amused during your Christmas lunch. After all, did you know that Turkeys have been around for 10 million years and that there are fossils to prove it? I thought not. On second thoughts, maybe amused is too strong a word. Very mildly entertained for a brief moment might be more pertinent.

www.pattisplace.8m.com/thanks.html
Now this website is great and marvellously stupid. It’s a hilarious jig celebrating the big bird. It’s best enjoyed if you make sure you’ve got your sound turned up and your pictures turned on. It is Thanksgiving-based, but none the worst for it. Expect to find yourself humming the tune for ages.

However, should you want to see what the bird you’re intending to eat should really look like (as opposed to the factory-farmed version) then the next website with a bizarre collection of photos could be just the job.

www.alaska.net/~fourwair/01turkeys.htm
This website has pictures of a flock of 200 turkeys for you to feast your eyes upon. I suggest you print them out and pass them round the table – that’ll bring the conversation to an awed halt. And if that wasn’t enough excitement for one day, then the page solemnly exhorts you to ‘check out the strutting sage grouse and misc. critters I've photographed’. I declined.

And finally, in our turkey lunch section, there’s the Wild Turkey Kicker dance.

www.dollaranddime.co.uk/dance_scripts/w/wild_turkey_kicker.htm
This is just perfect as a team-bonding activity after lunch. All you’ll need is some space (shift the tables) and a CD with a polka (the website gives you some suggestions). You take on the role of the caller and follow the script to create the dance. In my opinion, it’s guaranteed fun and a good exercise in leadership (yours) and teamwork (theirs).

If you hate the whole idea of the office Christmas lunch, then why not do away with it altogether and just order up a virtual meal for fun dining without the calories. Try something new at the same time too. Forget the turkey and why not try sushi? Have a look at the great food on offer at www.asahi-jc.com/sushi.htm and rustle up a virtual sushi party.

THE OFFICE CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS
What could be more redolent of Christmas, or more cheerful, than a tree and some lights? But don’t you hate digging out that tree and aren’t those baubles way past their sell-by date? What about all those health and safety regulations that mean the lights have to be checked and double-checked, and by the time the electrician arrives, Christmas has been and gone. And taking the thing down again after it’s all over, who really wants to do that? So, here’s the perfect solution for the office.

To begin with, simply place an old PC in the corner where you’d normally put the tree, connect to the Internet and fire up this site http://decorate.asphonolulu.com/card.aspx?ID=495eccbf-38fa-488e-979a-546e90470003 and voila, Christmas music and a tree for you to decorate. Everyone can join in too, so why not redecorate the tree every day and have a prize for the best design?

Next, ask everyone to go to www.tigertech.com/hlights.html This site from Holiday Lights strings rows of Christmas tree bulbs around the edges of your PC screen, with festive music playing in the background. It even includes a screensaver with gently falling snow and other seasonal choices to put you in the holiday spirit. And, if you wish, the colourful lights can flash on your desktop while you continue to work, so it’s not just a screensaver. The program is shareware so you can try it free of charge.

Now, stand back and look around. A tree in the corner and lights everywhere you look. Aahh, isn’t that lovely and, more to the point, no mess. Oh, alright, it’s tacky, but it’s cheap.

GIFTS AND CARDS
Be honest. Don’t you find the whole cards and gifts thing a bit of a waste of time in the office? It’s the endless writing, envelope sealing and handing over of multiple cards, one for each member of the team. And then you receive an identical number back, most of them not to your taste. Also there’s the gift buying. Most places operate the secret Santa approach these days (where everyone has to get something for someone else but no one knows who is buying for whom). This approach usually results in raids on the present drawer (all that stuff you got last year from well meaning relatives that you didn’t want), to find something vaguely, but not very suitable, or a trip to the pound shop for something amusing (for which read nasty). Opening the gifts is always fun too - having to maintain a smile on your face as you open your wretched present just in case the boss, or even worse, your best friend, was your secret Santa. But don’t despair as there is a better way.

Try ‘Adopt a stocking’ at www.thesitefights.com/holiday/stockings A few moments work here and you can send all your colleagues a virtual stocking that will actually fill with goodies on Christmas morning. How cool is that? As for the cards, it’s a case of pick your e-card website really. One of the sites with the largest selections is at www.123greetings.com/events/christmas The best thing about these cards is that you can customise them with greetings, banners, font styles sizes and colours, as well as card backgrounds and music. Why not hold a competition in the office to design the best e-card?

AND FINALLY …
Now do something that’s really about the spirit of Christmas with all the money you’ve saved on decorations, cards and gifts. Click on www.charityportal.org.uk and select a charity from the lists provided. Whatever your particular preference for charitable giving, you’ll find it here on this searchable database of UK charities, where there are more than 2,130 charities described. From the environment to health and from children to animals, read about the charity and make an online donation on this excellent and simple website. And have a very happy, and very real, Christmas.

Thanks to Clare Forrest for this month’s festive fun. Garry Platt will be in the chair for the New Year edition of ‘Netcheck’.


Clare Forrest would be pleased to know by snail-mail, e-mail or carrier pigeon the URLs (web addresses) of any sites that you have enjoyed, loathed or found just plain indispensable so that she can bring them to everyone’s attention. She can be contacted at clareforrest@structuredlearning.com or visit www.structuredlearning.com

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