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Hints and tips

By Stephen Seymour (June 2008 Issue)
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6 tips for when love blossoms in the workplace

Alfred Lord Tennyson once said: “In the spring a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love.”

Put simply, this means that with love in the air, you may find yourself increasingly attracted to a work colleague, who may have made it blatantly clear they feel the same way.

And while it turned out well for Lauren Bacall and Humphrey Bogart, those indulging in romances at work need to carefully consider how they behave. Employers, some of whom have tried to ban workplace romances in the past, need to realise these relationships are as much a part of office life as water coolers and ‘secret santa’.

The key is to ensure that any potential romance doesn’t have a negative impact on the job specifically or the workplace in general.

Stephen Seymour, of HR, training and recruitment consultancy the Urquhart Partnership, said: “Let’s face it, these things happen. Having said that though, the last thing employers should have to deal with is the fall-out from an office romance.

“The advice for employers is to be sensitive. The only real justification for becoming involved is if there is, for whatever reason, a negative impact on the workplace as a result of the relationship, whether it be colleagues having to deal with the couple being too full-on and demonstrative in the office, or assignments simply not getting done.

“As with any other performance-related issue, the manager then needs to address the specific problem at hand, discuss solutions and monitor the employee’s progress. They really shouldn’t make any exceptions or special cases just because there is an ongoing relationship.”

1. Be clear what you’re getting yourself into from the start If it’s likely to be a flash in the pan, is there any point in taking things further?
2. Be savvy Don’t abuse the IT system and send each other love notes over email, and don’t hang around the object of your affection’s desk chatting endlessly when there’s work to be done. A short phone call at lunchtime, or after work, to check out their plans is more suitable.
3. Behave appropriately Save shows of affection for the pub after work or at home.
4. Be upfront As and when the word does get out, be honest and admit you’re in a relationship, as this will help nip any gossiping in the bud. If you supervise, or have any influence over what happens to your partner from a work perspective, you need to be very upfront and make sure that a senior manager is aware.
5. Stay professional Keep work and personal issues separate: don’t start arguing about whose turn it is to wash the dishes or who said what in the heat of an argument while you’re in the office.
6. If it doesn’t go well Resist the temptation to tell everyone how bad your ex is. Be polite and move on.

Stephen Seymour is general manager of the Urquhart Partnership’s Manchester office. He can be contacted on +44 (0)
161 233 8494 or via www.upwebsite.com

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