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L Vaughan Spencer

By L Vaughan Spencer (January 2008 Issue)
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It’s a jungle out there, isn’t it? Do you wonder how you keep from going under? Business is like the animal world. Do you think of yourself as the cat’s pyjamas? Or a dog’s breakfast? Following pioneering work by Professor J Morris of the University of Bristol, the Succeeder Laboratories has developed a unique way of unlocking sense from nonsense. It’s called Animal Analysis - or An-im-Alysis. Do you recognise yourself or any of your office colleagues from this list?

Tortoise – slow but gets there in the end.
Rat – quick to leave a sinking ship.
Elephant – never forgets anything. Squashes anything in its path.
Vulture – spots easy pickings once others have done the hard work.
Spider – good on the web.
Chameleon – changes colours according to the situation.
Lion – king of the jungle.
Crow – moves only in straight lines.
Bull – not good in a china shop.
Hyena – always laughing.
Skunk – smelly.

There are so many parallel issues in wildlife and organisational life:

Have I marked my territory?
Who is the dominant one in the group?
Will they share their food with me – or will they chase me away?
Is it the mating season?
Where can I get a drink?
What’s happening back at my nest – did I secure the entrance?
Why am I being chased by a man with a big gun?
What’s that funny smell?

In December, I saw a pantomime: Cinderella. The story seemed so reminiscent of organisational behaviour…

Once there was a widower (new head of department) who married a proud and haughty second wife (merged two existing departments). She had two daughters, the ugly sisters (elephants – see above – who resented the merger. Often men, in fact), who were equally haughty. By his first wife, he had had a beautiful young daughter. Along with the daughters, the stepmother employed Cinderella for housework purposes (dull admin work).

The prince (director of HR/talent development) invited all the maidens in the land to a ball (team-build event). As the sisters swept away to the event, Cinderella cried in despair. Her fairy godmother (organisational change consultant) appeared and vowed to assist Cinderella in attending the ball (team-build event at a Holiday Inn Express). She then turned Cinderella’s rags into a beautiful gown (Matalan outfit), complete with a delicate pair of glass slippers (bespoke Nike trainers). She turned a pumpkin into a coach (developed Cinders’ ideas into a top PowerPoint presentation with accompanying interactive learning exercise).

At the team-build event, the entire department was entranced by Cinderella (listened intently to her presentation and discussed it in depth with post-it notes and flip-charts to capture the learnings), especially the new head of department. Cinderella only just remembered to leave as the clock struck midnight (as the head of department questioned her further on her ideas for cross-disciplinary synergies). She hurried out but lost one of her shoes on the steps of the palace (car park of the Holiday Inn Express). The prince vowed to find the maiden to whom it belonged and marry her (give her increased responsibilities for future intra-departmental processes).

The prince tried the slipper on all the maidens in the land (conducted in-depth staff appraisals). The stepsisters tried the shoe on (went through intensive leadership training and psychometric testing) in vain. Cinderella asked if she could have a go. Naturally, it fitted perfectly. Cinderella married the prince (became his number two, eventually succeeding him when he was promoted due to his – well, her – brilliant ideas for reorganising departmental processes). The stepsisters also married two Lords (were moved sideways into ‘strategic roles’ without any loss of benefits).

Agree? Disagree? Contact L-Vo with your personal or workrelatedquery via www.Succeedy.com

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