In China, great emphasis is placed on the serving of tea. Sometimes it is done as a sign of respect; at other times it conveys an apology. At traditional Chinese weddings a tea ceremony is often held to bring together the members of large families. On these special occasions, even the bride and groom serve tea to their parents as an expression of gratitude.

What is most memorable about these events is the emphasis placed on the needs of others. The tea-pourer takes up a position of servanthood, even though they may well be of some stature themselves. I remember attending one prominent event during which my cup was never empty. Every time I took a sip, I found that my cup had been replenished. What’s more, I never even noticed the person who faithfully poured out my tea.

In a different setting a good facilitator is just such a person. Without being obtrusive, they allow others to reflect, to explore and make discoveries for themselves. Rather than leaving people thirsty for the answers to unresolved issues, the facilitator discreetly ‘fills the cup’ by focusing on the sharing of thoughts, ideas and experiences.

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